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| ...come to those who wait. I have never been a patient person. This is an understatement. From what I gather, it's always me who is late, making everyone else wait mostly because I do not like waiting for them. At least when I arrive at my destination or do what it is that I should have been doing ten minutes prior, I'm on my game and get shit done. Thus I digress. It took me 24 and a half years to learn what a good relationship is. Of course we can't count the first half of it as the only descriptive word in my vocabulary pertaining to boys was "cooties." But really. Most of those who know me know that I had a lot of drama. Always dramatic stories over coffee, blogs about the bizarre shit that I was going through, and many late nights getting drunk to forget the soap opera-esque events of the week. I'd sit at night wondering what I ever did to the world to deserve bad relationship after bad relationship. I didn't want to give up on the thought that there was someone out there who complimented me, understood me, would love me for who I am-faults and all. It felt like I waited foreverrr. (no seriously-after the dog stealer, the tree climber, and the angry yakuza I was [-this close-] to just giving up and being a grouchy old maid for the rest of my life.)
But now.
Life is so fantastic.
I have no dramatic story to blog about on xanga anymore.
I am happy. It's odd that I find it odd, that when a friend asks, "how are you" I almost don't know what to say. I got so used to crying about my relationship woes. Now I have nothing bad to say and thus almost don't know what to say. Haha, how funny! Luis is so great it's surreal.
So this is what a happy relationship is.
It was worth the wait. | | |
| and I choose to go on with it.
I tearfully admit that as a year older than a year ago (haha doesn't that sound great?) I've learned so much. It's so freakin weird to think that a year ago I was actually still dating Taro. wtf man. That seriously feels like ages ago. So much happened in the last year it's mind boggling.
"Oh what happened Jodi?"
Wellllll...let's see. I...
-broke up with Taro. He sat outside of my house for many days.
-ran away to Oregon for a few days. How I miss my mainland friends...
-was threatened to be taken to court. wtf dude. seriously?!
-dated breaker Dave...and stopped dating breaker Dave.
-kept a log of all points of contact from someone, just in case.
-dated J. Fracaro...and stopped dating J. Fracaro.
-quit Discover. Started working at some paraprofessional company. And hated it.
-went back to Discover. Finally got my damn raise.
-started dating Chris. 2 months later moved in with Chris. (talk about a bad idea...)
-quit Discover again. Started working at In+Form Design.
-stopped dating Chris. Which fyi, was a mutual agreement.
-moved out of the apartment. Chris became an asshole and I still haven't gotten all my things back.
-moved back with the rents. Am quite possibly going to lose my mind there.
-had my bag stolen. Fucker, if I find you...
-spent part of my Vegas money on a new phone and camera. But it will never replace the Level 4 opening night pics and video of the Jabbawockeez :(
-started dating Luis.
-got ridiculously drunk on my 25th birthday. Thanks everyone who made it and those who at least contacted me.
-will be in Vegas in t-minus 2 days. Cheehoo! I can safely say that as a 24 year old, I experienced a lot of changes. Understatement. But that's a good thing and I'm glad that I am where I am. Life is good. I'll go with it. | | |
| two weblogs in the span of a week.
wtf man.
i must have a lot of shit on my mind. so.
now that i've voiced my thoughts aloud, things are that much more in my face. it's like my feelings were solidified once i wrote them down. so now i have to decide. my closest friends that i've shared this with think that i have to decide. but the weight of my decisions seem so heavy to bear.
my head and my heart are at war.
oddly, though, i feel that there may be no winners when this battle is over.
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| Is it possible to love two different people at once?
I'm almost positive it must be.
Of course, the moral question is...is that fair? I have become close to someone in recent times.
He radiates brilliant energy and positive karma.
It's like there's a light that shines from within him and when I'm around him I feel illuminated by it. I've fallen in love with him.
As a friend, maybe as more.
Nothing has really happened between us besides many a late night talk about the tribulations of life and wonder in people, strolling down the sidewalk together arm in arm stepping on only the white lines in crosswalks, eating cream puffs with puffy eyes and open hearts. Sound strange? It has been. And it's been fantastic. He deserves more.
But the thought of losing him makes me want to cry.
I love two people and it's driving me crazy. | | |
| I settled on the architecture company.
Boutique architecture firm that really values its employees.
Can't go wrong with that...right? But like I said, here I am, wondering if I made the right decision. Restless after merely 2 weeks. Many a time I find myself wondering if I should go back to school so I can end up where I feel like I should be...at the top of the corporate ladder. Working under people just doesn't really cut it for me. But then I think...what the hell do I want to do though? What industry do I see myself flourishing in? I'm so indecisive.
About almost everything in life. I need to just make up my damn mind already. My fear of committing myself to things might end up being detrimental not just to myself, but to others. Maybe especially to others.
Easier said than done.
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